I do not...

what is more screwed up: my back or my iPhone.

Crazy Kids in Florida

So...watch this report about two teenage girls with boundary issues, the Sheriff who confronted them, and the guy who was snapping pictures.

My friend Mike pointed this story out to me and then pointed out that when the guy leaves custody, his life is going to be kind of like this.

*knock knock knock*

Hello there. My name is Robert Lee Blevins and I am a registered sex offender.

*slam*

This is a bad situation for everyone involved.

Zero History

I was excited about this book back in April. Really excited about it now.



via io9.com

Teddy Ruxpin, Meteor Showers, and Genetic Diseases

I am trying to get down this dream as quickly as I can, please forgive any problems in continuity.

I was walking down the bike path, towards the bodega down that way that carried the bottled water that I prefer. When I got there, I was talking to this blonde woman who was about my age and who may or may not have worked there. At that moment, I hear someone call my name, and this short guy comes running over to me and gives me a hug. The short guy was wearing a mechanic's shirt with the name "Carlos" on it.

Carlos and I sat and talked and caught up. Turns out that Carlos and I went to high school together but...I could not remember him. He liked his life and worked at the bodega and that was that. We walked down the bike path further towards a burned out shopping center that was set in a desert. We talked for a while, Carlos asking how my sister was doing and having a good level of detail for my family history and their comings and goings. I couldn't ask him anything though, because I had no clue who he was. At that point, the blonde woman came down the path yelling at Carlos for not being at work.

Now dream me was really attracted to the blonde woman. And I was really surprised when she came up to me and gave me a huge hug. That was not all though. She told me that it had been years since she has seen me.

Blonde woman, it turns out, is Carlos' mom. We talked for a while about Carlos' issue. Turns out that it wasn't my faulty memory that caused me to forget about Carlos, rather he had a genetic disorder that had caused him to look differently and have to change his name.

After that revelation, the blonde woman and I walked hand in hand to the church up the street, where she lived with a bunch of her friends. We were sitting around, talking and drinking, and then someone asked me about the scar that I had on my shoulder. I did not know that I had a scar on my shoulder, but there it was. I was shocked.

Then the blonde woman said, "Mine are worse."

The blonde woman, let's call her "Molly", had a fall and because of that fall, she had two rubber bung stoppers in her chest six inches below each breast, which were small and perky but deceptive when seen unclothed. Oh, I know this because every time she mentioned her fall, she would lift up her top to show the rubber bung stoppers in a way that was completely without shame. It was shocking without being titillating.

I felt the need to leave, and I asked anyone if they needed anything from the bodega. No one did, so I walked down to get myself a pack of cigarettes.

After walking to get a pack of cigarettes, I looked up and watched the Perseid Meteor Shower light up the sky. It was beautiful. I mean, I have never seen anything like this, and the meteors lit up the sky. While it was going on, I reached the house and Molly and I watched together, my arm around her waist, happy together.

After a little while longer, some people started making their own light show, using robots to illuminate the sky. One of these robots landed at my feet, and it looked like a samurai swordsman, complete with sword, only he was about seven inches tall. Molly saw my interest in the robot and walked back into the house in a huff, and the robot and I talked for a moment, after I took the time to remove the sword from his hands as I was afraid that he was going to slice, dice or Jullianne me.

I tried to get the robot to hang out and play with Teddy Ruxpin, who was happily sitting on the grass, watching the meteor shower. Teddy didn't seem happy about the idea.

So...there it is.

What does it mean?

There is something about this commercial

I don't know what it is...but GEICO and Abe Lincoln combine for something that makes me laugh and makes the point about...what? That GEICO has some of the funniest spots out there for something that is really not all that sexy?

Monday Randomness

This is my favorite song from Arcade Fire's new album The Suburbs. Please give it a listen.

"But I would rather be alone than pretend I feel alright."

Secondly, I am not proud of what I had to do to get to sleep last night. Curly did not want to snuggle with me, and since @PVH1976 moved out, I no longer have Hemingway to snuggle with.

I have trouble sleeping without someone or something to snuggle up against myself. Maybe it is because I feel abandonment issues...whatever...

Anyway, in order to sleep, I ended up snuggling with pillows. Yes, folks. That's how far I have fallen.

It did lead to rather peaceful if prosaic dreams.

JR and Sue Ellen Ended Soviet Communism

From Hulu: Did disco cause the collapse of the Soviet Union? According to this lighthearted and informative film, nighttime soap operas and disco-dancing footage had as much to do with the Soviet's demise as did any political movement.

Thank you, Andrea, for the original link.