Who is playing with me?

The DPRK Amateur Gold Tourney!

I do know of a number of people who love golf and would do well in North Korea.

Via Gawker

How to be alone

I like to be alone, but I do not like to be lonely.

I did take myself out to dinner last night.

H/T to Fish.

Coffee's for closers...

Bullet Points

• Portlandia is really kind of meh. 
• I had a dream where my brother and I each stole $250K.  We packed them into duffel bags and hid them under the bed.  When I awoke, I went looking for it.
• Hiccuping makes me cry.
• I love Foursquare.  This is my favorite badge so far.

• I am looking forward to the Jets game tomorrow. Really looking forward to it.

On food and cooking

I have written about my love of food often.

Recently two friends have both started their own food centric blogs and I would like to offer a plug...

Clean Eating Project

Kitchen Condescending

Enjoy them. I know I am looking forward to seeing what happens on them!

Wait! What? I'm a Leo now?

I saw some scuttlebutt on the internet about a new Astrological Sign coming into being, Ophiuchus. What I didn't see was that I was no longer a Virgo.

Now, I never gave any credence to astrology, but Paige once gave me a run down on who and what Virgos are and it was insightful in a broad personality descriptor type of way.

Why the change has happened is covered by io9.

MSNBC has the new dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

Scorpio is a window of less than a week? Weird.

Anyway, what is a Leo (and that was my Nana's sign so I am happy about that in a weird way) and what does it mean to me?

As a Virgo, this is what was expected of me:

The Virgo is highly discriminating, but not necessarily as prudish at some might believe...You Virgos have the uncanny sense to see what's wrong with a person, a situation or your environment. It's why Virgo makes such natural critics. Virgo practical analytical abilities are second to none. Your mental process may not be the most creative, but Virgo's razor-like thinking is highly effective...

Via Horoscopes at My Daily

Yep, that was me. Kind of a douche. I own it.

But I am no longer a Virgo...

Here is what the same site said about Leos:

The Lion is considered the king of the jungle, and likewise you Leos have an air of royalty about you. Some Leos even have hair resembling the thick mane of the Lion...Leo are warm of spirit, eager for action and are driven by a desire to be loved for what you bring to others. Leo are a magnanimous leader and a faithful servant. Once scorned in love, however, Leo will withdraw your affections and the light, once brilliant, can go cold...Leo motto might be "What you see is what you get." You tend to live your live straightforwardly and with a flair for drama...

Via Horoscopes at My Daily

So...a mane of hair? Warm of spirit? A magnanimous leader?

Nope, I am a Virgo.



Oh, and why you are at it, check out this page about astrology.

Hater gotta hate

Justin Bieber look-a-like prepares for his playoff game against the Jets.

Via

Cutting the Cord

A lot of my friends have been talking about Cutting the Cord and trying to figure out what to do.

I cut the cord years ago and switched to internet only because...well...it was a time and cash suck and I had other things to do.

I have tried to talk my brother into this concept but he is having nothing to do with it.

"Why would I want to watch something on the computer?"

"You could watch it on the television."

"But I have cable!"

So, he wants to have cable. It is his home and I am just a guest in it.

All of that being said, I have enjoyed being able to watch certain programs as they air. The one that I am most obsessive about is Top Chef: All Stars. Last week, I stayed up until three last week because I forgot to DVR it and it is a program that spoilers pop up on the internet quickly, so...if you don't watch and you care, you need to avoid the web until you see who won, who lost, and what Padma was wearing.

Anyway, I was looking forward to Top Chef last night. After Casey lost (weep) with her chicken feet Dim Sum, I wanted to see my one remaining favorite kick but.

I even commented to a friend that Top Chef may be the highlight of my day.

Sad, I know.

As it got closer to 10, my brother switched over to Bravo and we saw this.

GAH!

Then we saw it again for the replay at 11.

Okay. My only chance was the 2 am replay.

GAH!

The same thing.

The cable box was even reset between this.

Now, I want to watch the show so I can read Gawker and NY Mag's Vulture without being spoiled.

It isn't available on Hulu either.

What am I to do?

And the snow continues...

It is still coming down. From what I have seen on the weather sites, it has stalled above us (and the greater East Coast) and we are going to get more snow than was anticipated.

It is beautiful out there.

I wasn't going to say anything about this...

And I am not calling for her blood...I am assuming that her "speechifyer" (That's Alaskan for speech writer) didn't understand the historical context of that phrase.

And if you don't know what I am referring to, please watch this video:

Sarah Palin: "America's Enduring Strength" from Sarah Palin on Vimeo.

If you don't know what the phrase means, please refer to this:

Blood Libel

Who is seeing this with me?

Battle: Los Angeles

It comes out on 3.11.11.

FAU are you in? Do you think we can get REDACTED to come with us?

I need a movie with aliens destroying Los Angeles to get the foul taste of Skyline out of my mouth.

By the way, and I may have mentioned this before, but Skyline was awful and I had so much hope for it. You don't have to see it. Trust me here. It is a combination of District 9 and some bizarre video game that is straight destruction porn. So, unless that is your thing...avoid it.

And I feel even older...

In a chat with a friend earlier this morning (Let's call it 2 am for brevity)and I admitted that I am feeling "old and conservative" and that "fifty year old anarchists are boring".

(The second part is of no consequence, but I just wanted to put it out there. You are.)

As I was working out this morning, I decided to listen to music (as opposed to the usual podcasts that I love and it is Wednesday, and that means that I have the Slate Culture Gabfest to listen to this afternoon) and Pearl Jam sounded like a good idea.

Pearl Jam was a great idea.

I was listening to Ten and it brought me back to the spring of 1992. I was 17. Life wasn't bad.

Then I realized something...

It brought me back to the spring of 1992. This is pre-Clinton as President 1992.

I stopped my workout to see if this was correct and to see when the album actually came out.

Yeah...August of 1991.

Which means that Ten is Twenty this year.

Pearl Jam is eligible for classic rock status.


They do still rock though. (And I am okay with being old.)

VZN and the iPhone 4

When the news came through at 11:05 EST (or so) that Verizon was going to start offering the iPhone 4 as of February, I called my father because he has wanted one for the last year but he did not want to switch from a carrier that worked well in the Berkshires...but he wanted to get out of the BlackBerry ghetto. (which is not saying anything negative about the BlackBerry or the users of said device, it is more a statement that while other companies have been innovating by leaps and bounds, RIM has stayed still offering phones that aren't much different from the Curve that I had in 2007)

On the various social media platforms that I subscribe to, there were calls of "Hallelujah!" and promises to switch in three weeks.

Now, I have had three different carriers over the past decade: T-Mobile, Sprint/Nextel, and AT&T. I have never noticed a difference in service and I have had all three carriers as smart phone carriers.

Are you going to switch? Running down my contact list, a lot of the are VZN users, so...what are you going to do?

If you are a normal user of phones and not a bleeding edge adapter, get it. It is a wonderful device. I have been often known to say that it is the "best piece of consumer technology since the transistor radio" and regardless of the career, it is still going to be.

What if you are a bleeding edge adapter?

How are you going to feel in May when Apple announces a new iPhone (which may be LTE) and you are locked in to having the old phone for another eighteen months?

Is your gadget lust stronger than your will to wait a couple of months for the LATEST AND GREATEST offering from the mind of Jobs & Co.?

Then...what did I tell my dad to do? Oh, I told him to switch.

Ohes Noes! It's Snowing

Yes, folks, it is snowing. Yes, folks, it is accumulating.

Settle down now.

When did this happen?

I had MSNBC on as background noise as I was working on something else and the attractive talking head mentioned that they were going to speak to a Representative regarding Rep. King's (R-NY) suggestion that a law be made preventing firearms within one thousand feet of elected representatives.

Who was the Rep. that they were going to speak to?

Oh! It was Mary Bono Mack! Yes, formerly Mrs. Sonny Bono, and she thought the idea of Rep. King's was not a good one. (She may have been correct about that, but that is neither here nor there.)

And...

MSNBC identified her as (D) Palm Springs.

Now, I have killed off a considerable amount of my brain with very high ABV craft beer and even a larger portion of it by mistakenly pushing a Q-Tip too far into my ear but...

Mary Bono is a Republican.

I mean, she has to be, right? Sonny was, and she was at one point, and she speaks out against most of the things that I believe in, so...

What happened?

I try to think if she defected, or if something had changed...a quick Google search shows that she is still listed as a member of the GOP...maybe something happened today. Maybe some great change happened and MSNBC didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but...wouldn't someone else have made a big deal? I hadn't been paying attention to most things today, but...someone would have sent a message saying something.

And then...

Another look at Rep. Mack and the D had changed to a R.

I was so...disappointed and it was because some intern screwed up a chiron.

Forever Lazy

Over the past couple of months, I have been made aware of some of the worst products every made. (I am thinking of you, Pajama Jeans.)

The above product may be the lowest of the low. Now, it is not because these are union suits or pajamas, as I have no problem with either of those...it is that people are being encouraged to wear them outside. And the name! Forever Lazy! Wear them outside and be lazy! Welcome to America!

"Be the talk of your tailgate!"

Yeah, you come out wearing this, you will be the talk of the tailgate. I would mock you. For f***'s sake, TEA would mock you.

"But why?"

Because you will look like an idiot, and this isn't about conforming to some idea of fashion, or mores that are outdated and gender based...this is about not wearing fleece pajamas to a football game.

Or I could be totally wrong on this...

___
And there are now 33 days until pitchers and catchers report.

And my brother and I have a conversation

DGA: Is the Olive Garden any good?
Me: No.
DGA: Why not?
Me: Because pasta is the easiest thing in the world to make and they don't make their own.
DGA: But they have a commercial. They are on television. They have to be good.
Me: They have commercials for Pajama Jeans.
DGA: They do. Wait. What are Pajama Jeans?
Me: They are a combination of pajama pants and jeans.
DGA: You mean I don't have to change out of jeans and into jammies when I get home?
Me: They're for women.
DGA: But they have pockets and belt loops?
Me: No belt loops.
DGA: Why do they make all the good things for women?

And I have a Happy Heart

Because here is the good news...

There are 34 days left until pitchers and catchers report!



While I will be rooting for the Mets, their season will be over by...I am thinking...May 24.

So...should I root for the Royals?

World's Worst Mommy Blogger

I love these games. They really do teach your children that there are people other than them in this big, big world. Another favorite is "Where's Mommy?" -- I used to leave them silly notes when they got up in the morning, saying things like, "I've had it with your misbehavior! I found a new family and moved to Hawaii!" You should see the looks on their faces when I creep out from the closet and yell, "JUST KIDDING!" Sometimes I come out too late and they've already gone to school (Luke says they cry the whole ride there, "Is Mommy coming back?" He likes to play along -- LOL!).

The World's Worst Mommy Blogger via The Awl



And the above video is not a parody. It is unbelievably cruel.

Forty Eight Hours Later

I am not a liberal.

I am not a conservative.

I am not a Democrat.

I am not a Republican.

Yes, I am defining myself by what I am not.

I am an American.

I get goosebumps and my eyes tear up when I hear the Star Spangled Banner, but I hate when I hear God Bless America and I have an appropriate physical reaction to that as well.

In the past forty eight hours, I have listened to and read a lot of opinions about what should be done as a result of the assassination attempt on Rep. Gifford.

Some of them have been unhelpful.

These include many of the calls to criminalize speech. Yes, SarahPAC's map of the United States, especially in the light of this tragedy, was ill advised, and the vitriolic nature of the attacks (by both sides) on those who disagree with political beliefs often pushes the boundaries of decorum, good taste and decency. However, there is a huge difference between a spirited disagreement (even using harsh language) and a mentally unstable young man shooting someone in the head.

While we do need to have a conversation about the demonetization of political "enemies" and the lack of decorum that has been part and parcel of American politics since the inception of the Republic, that is not what Saturday was about.

Saturday was about two things: handgun control and mental illness.

On Saturday evening, FAU and I had a spirited discussion about handgun ownership and what it meant in the wake of twenty people being shot by someone imbalanced with a Glock. We did not end up agreeing, but...maybe that was the point. We couldn't come to a consensus because that was not the issue...well...not the primary issue.

The primary issue was someone who was mentally ill was able to legally purchase a handgun and the underlying question is why?

I have read reports from various sources about how teachers were afraid of this person. That he displayed behavior that showed his unbalance.

And...

They asked him to be removed from the classroom.

That's what happened. This person who so scared his instructor that he had to be removed from class was removed from the classroom.

What should have happened?

Joe Scarborough commented this morning that if the alleged shooter had been drunk in class he would have received different services.

Why shouldn't an obviously "crazy" student have been offered services? Could this have been prevented if we as a society didn't stigmatize mental illness?

If he had access to services, would he have been able to buy the handgun? If he had access to services, would he have felt compelled to shoot twenty other human beings over a perceived slight by Rep. Giffords?

Or would he have received help?

So, while we have necessary conversations about political rhetoric, violent imagery, handgun control, and the security of our elected officials, can we please have a conversation about prioritizing mental health services?

Irrational people are always going to act irrationally, and occasionally, they are going to engage in violent acts, but...while the conversation is going to continue about how to prevent events like this in the future, is the conversation going to start regarding helping those who need help.

It isn't about being liberal, or conservative...it is about being human, American, and making an attempt to prevent actions like these from happening by preventing the root causes from coming to a head...in a hail of bullets in a Safeway parking lot, between the flags of Arizona and the United States of America.

In the beginning, there was Monday

I had a dream last night about playing Words With Friends on an iPad. While I love Words... and I want an iPad, the dream contained all my anxieties about both. I played a 99 point word and handed the iPad over to my friend to show her, and she promptly drew her fingernails over the screen, scratching the surface and resetting the game. At least there was no violence towards TEA and no one was yelling at me.

But...

I do covet the iPad. Every time I run into the big box store that is across the street, I wander over and look at them, wanting it and completely unable to justify the expense. One of the issues is that there is no WiFi at my brother's house. He doesn't like it or believe in it. (I am not going to try to explain it to y'all or him, I just live with it but...) Therefore, in addition to the iPad, I would have to get an Wireless AP and the one that I like is expensive as well.

That is a grand that I cannot justify spending...which doesn't mean that I still don't covet.

---

I have to thank the Green Bay Packers.

They prevented what I feared.

A Superbowl between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. I have an (admittedly) irrational hatred of both teams and both cities and watching a sporting event where one of them would be guaranteed happiness would be devestating...or just irksome.

---

I heard Young MC's "Bust A Move" yesterday and it made me smile with a memory of a summer day and a lot of laughter.

Thank you!

I love it when someecards.com points out how silly my internet activity is.

The Pro Bowl Shuffle

Will Arnett as Brett Favre is wonderful.

Well they call me Brett and I like to dance
Then I text you a picture of what's in my pants


Via Gawker

This song will change your life...

I swear that I just heard this song in a commercial and I have to wonder if great indie rock songs are going to be continued to be exploited for a culture that doesn't appreciate it the first time around.

That being said, I love the song, and I hope some of you appreciate the title of the post.

And my subconscious does hate me...

When I woke this morning, I was left with a feeling a dread.

I know that the dream took place in a Martian landscape which was supposed to be Arizona, someone who I had a disagreement with in real life was treating me with a cruelty that I have rarely seen displayed (though she is capable of it in the real world as well as my dreams) and then she threatened to shoot TEA.

Yeah.

I don't know what it means. Well, I have some idea. I know that I am feeling unsure after the events in Arizona, and with my relationships with my friends, and that I worry every day that I am not going to be able to protect TEA.

One of the issues with breaking news is that I will watch CNN or MSNBC for twelve hours straight, with my laptop or phone at the ready and I internalize all of it.

So, the combination of the spicy food (yay for my stomach being normal), too much news, an odd personal interaction, and my general anxieties led to me having a fraked up dream...

But...what was the point?

Well, I had another odd dream, and this one while being dreadful, which had a soundtrack. Worse than the feeling of dread, which will fade as the day continues, the song that was playing as the dream went on left my head as soon as I thought of it.

That's going to bother me for the whole day.

Edit at 9:46

I remembered it.



Thank you, Maynard, for infecting my dreams. The whole "sober" aspect of it is kind of ironic.

Olbermann's Special Comment of Rep. Gifford's

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Via Mediaite