Listen people, I gave you rules...

And this is how you repay me?




I hate you, Albany.

Rules for Visitors to the Tulipfest

1) Assume it is going to rain.
2) Park in one of the lots downtown and walk to the park.
3) Do not load your child up in an oversized stroller.
4) Do patronize the local businesses. If you need to use a bathroom, but a drink.
5) If you need to use the bathroom, use a portajohn.
6) Do not use the tulips or the trees instead of a restroom.
7) We do not need to hear your wild antics. For most of us who live in the neighborhood, that is a Tuesday.
8) Being drunk and obnoxious is never fun, especially at noon.
9) Cabs and buses are your friend.
10) If you do feel the need to get naked, for God's sake, trim.

I blame Christopher Hitchens

Smart People Drink More Alcohol - Alcohol - Gawker:

"Some data fiend decided to see how data on drinking habits correlated with all sorts of other fun factors like religion, education and politics. Educated godless liberals with large vocabularies, it seems, enjoy a beverage more than most."

Words With Friends

I have been playing a lot lately, and losing badly to Anya every game, but I have had two plays this week that made me happy.

TEA Reviews Iron Man 2

Attention, people. There are spoilers. Deal with that. Also, this review is coming from a seven year old.



I did like the film. And ScarJo...oh yes, and ScarJo.

Eliot Spitzer, Superhero

Yes, I noticed this right away. What does it say about where my interests interact?

The Geek In Me...

Really wants these...






The guy in me who still thinks himself moderately attractive to women knows that this is a bad idea.

Clooney, George Clooney - The American

The Unquiet American | Filmic | Kempt:

"(T)he plot seems to involve George jetting around Europe and encountering a wide variety of beautiful Italian women with ulterior motives—which seems a lot closer to the man’s actual life than Up in the Air."

Star Wars Saga in Three Minutes...with Legos

Via Mashable.

Cinco de Mayo Earworm

Arcade Fire: Black Mirror



The Official Video Embedding Disabled

Check out the official video if you are interested in the studio version of the song as well as a very "end of the world"-esque video.

Who Wants To Live Forever?

Sleep Or Die - The Awl:

"There is also a link between lack of sleep and sitting around at the bar for way longer than you should be even though you know NOTHING GOOD is going to happen and you'd be better off settling up and heading home, but you never learn, do you? And now you're going to die quicker. Happy now?"

Two Truths, One Lie

Everyone has done this meme at some point, either as an icebreaker at some sort of retreat or at a party where the host was both a dork and an insufferable prick...

Anyway, here is my contribution.

Alainn Sorcha's Five Books

(Alainn Sorcha took time out of her busy schedule to list five books. Number five is a particular favorite of mine, especially since I purchased TEA the Young Readers Edition.)

1. "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

I know, I know. Most people are forced under threat of blemished permanent records to read this book in high school and wind up hating it. But I swear that Fitzgerald really was amazing writer with a complex understanding of all the ways we choose to destroy ourselves. Self-destruction is seductive, and Fitzgerald knows exactly how to capture that particular romance. "Gatsby" is his most accessible novel, and the best place to start in his work.

2. "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert

Shifting gears a little bit. Please ignore the fact that this was an Oprah book and is now a movie staring Julia Roberts. If you've ever gone through an intense period of flux and heart wrenching change in your life, and we all have, this book is tremendously relatable. I've read it several times, and it's full of beautiful insights about heartache, becoming unafraid of your true self, and what it means to be happy and satisfied in life.

3. "Ella Minnow Pea: A Progressively Lipogrammatic Epistolary Fable" by Mark Dunn

Seriously, the most hilarious novel you will ever read in your life. Ever.

4. "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

A beautifully written, sophisticated and sympathetic novel about the relationships between women in the Deep South in the 1960s. This was my favorite book of 2009.

5. "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan

This book is a gentle and nonconfrontational exploration and analysis of American food options. I think it helps that Pollan is a food lover.

Completely Inappropriate

Has not hitting a bitch been working...I mean scientifically speaking, has not hitting a bitch achieved the desired results?



In other news, I am disappointed that the Boondocks will be dead at the end of this season.

I look to Huey for my subversive voice of reason.

*NB: I do not endorse violence against women of any kind.

Five Books

Everyone has a couple of books that they often recommend (or more to the point, think people who haven't read them are idiots or at least un-literate for not having read them). You don't have to justify them.

Though, I am going to.


1) Dune : Yes it takes place in a feudal system set ten thousand years in the future, but what it comes down to is a wonderful story about politics (especially a very literal discussion of hydrolic despotism), religion, and the power of a messiah.

2) The Road: Cormac McCarthy's best work, set in a post-apocalyptic nightmare world, which is a story about a man and his love for his son. In addition to it being a great story, and an easy read, it is a spectacular example of one of the more important writers of the last forty years.

3) Sophie's World: See the Care Package Project.

4) Neuromancer: The original cyberpunk novel and it has the best opening line of any book ever.

5) Guns, Germs, & Steel: Everything you wanted to know about Eurocentrism but were afraid to ask, and a look at why Western Culture has come to dominate (for the last five hundred years or so).

(Honorable Mention: The Mind's I: At the same time, the most accessible book on this list and the least. If you want interesting reads on the nature of thought, cognition, and a grounding in the metaphysics of the late 20th, it is worth the time and effort.)

Tuesday's Earworm

I ended up taking a shower at 11 PM yesterday, and this song came up. This did cause me to chuckle, especially since Thursday and I have been using this song as a personal punchline.

Anyway, I forgot how hot this video was.

An Uncompensated Endorsement

Due to a change in the weather and as a result of this post, I decided to go for a moderate bike ride yesterday (~16 miles with the only hills being at the beginning and the end).

It was the first ride that I was going on since I received the Rocketfish iPhone Bicycle Mount (provided by An Outside Observer) and I was curious to see how the mount would work.

It was nice. I was able to use the speaker function to play music, while using the GPS functions to track my speed and distance (I was listening to Bloc Party and using TrackThing and I was happy with my ride, but not so happy with my level of fitness. Running both the GPS with the music on the speaker did drain the battery quickly (which means that if I do this again, I will have make sure the phone is fully charged) and I was looking forward to the ride up the hill from the river to my house with music or GPS (or a phone for that matter).

While I was still on the bike path, one of my neighbors (yes, one of the people from the Mansion Neighborhood) was down in the Corning Preserve with his two awful Pomeranians and of course he was taking up the entire path...so I hopped off the path to avoid an incident and pedaled on. About 100 meters past them, I decided to get back on the path and thinking that I was fifteen again, I decided to hop the curb.

There are moments when I realize that I am no longer young. I am not quite old, but I am not young. On occasion, the strong pimp hand of fate needs to remind me that I am thirty five years old.

I missed the hop of the curb and went flying ass over ankles. Yes, I caught air. Yes, the bike quickly followed...

But...when I hit the ground hard (my wrist is bruised but not sore) and my bike hit me and the ground hard, the iPhone did not move.

Hence, this product from Rocketfish deserves an endorsement because it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

There it is folks, I have a product, I tested the product, I made myself look foolish in the process and I had a story to tell.

This is...disturbing.

What is hexane?

A study found hexane in soy protein. Should you stop eating veggie burgers? - By Brian Palmer - Slate Magazine:

"The FDA does not currently impose a ceiling on hexane residue in soy foods, but it does limit how much of the chemical can be left in fish protein isolate (5 parts per million), as well as in hop extract and spice resins (25 ppm). The study (PDF) that's now in the news found 21 ppm of hexane in soy meal—the defatted soy flakes that are used in products like energy bars and veggie burgers. The authors of the study told the Explainer that more recent testing has found concentrations as high as 50 ppm. But that's no reason to throw your meatless breakfast links down the disposal. The hexane limits are precautionary. No study has ever tested how much hexane a person can safely eat over the course of a lifetime, but rodent studies suggest that your Thanksgiving tofurkey isn't going to kill you."

That's the question?

Can cars and bikes coexist in the Capital Region? | All Over Albany

In all seriousness, that is a legitimate question, especially since the comments point out the ignorance of those who do drive regarding cyclists.

I have been yelled out. I have been hit by a driver (who didn't take the time to stop). Let alone the looks...

Anyway, I was tempted to comment her but...really...some people are just assholes, and I can be self righteous here all by myself.

The Twelve Dollar Cup of Coffee

Just out of curiosity, how much would you pay for coffee?

Why 'Coffee Is the New Wine' Is a Terrible Idea - Coffee - Gawker:

"Coffee Forces Us to Talk About Geopolitics. And, damn, I hate that. Whereas oenophilic nations are capable of growing their own grapes and mushing their own wine, the Global North don't have coffee plants. If coffee becomes a luxury, coffee beans could become the new blood diamonds. And 'blood beans' is way too gross a phrase to be allowed into the lexicon, so this needs to stop now."

Not Myself Tonight

For some reason (that I cannot fathom), this song has been haunting me all weekend long and now well into Monday.



It's a great pop song, but...there are a lot of great pop songs that don't get stuck in my head.

Zombie Dreams

All of you were in my dreams last night.  Seriously...everyone I have ever met made an appearance.

Yes, you were all zombies.  Well, a couple of you were corpses.

I watched you all die or turn.   Every single one of you.

I am going to avoid the genre for a couple of days.

More Zombies

Survival of the Dead

Yes, it looks silly, and yes, it may be repetitive, but I do want to see this.

Also, TEA and I have a date Friday afternoon to see Iron Man 2.

Nrrrd Grrrl

I love MC Chris. When I hear him on the various Williams Street cartoons, my heart is filled with glee.

Sandor and I saw him perform a couple of years ago and it was awesome (allowing for the fact that we were the oldest people at the show) and I am tempted to head to Boston to see him this week with McKern because we did lament the process of going to shows alone, and...see the Colin Hay post...I am feeling like far too much of a loser to do that...at least again.

Anyway, Chris is going to be at Valentine's on Wednesday. I will see you all there.

(Note on the video: I love that she is reading Guns, Germs and Steel, and if I could find another woman who loves that book (Yes, Paige, I know you have a signed copy) who actually likes me, I would be very happy with my nerd girl. Plus... I do believe that it is one of those books that you need to read so that you are not functionally retarded. Plus reading it with The Years of Rice and Salt is a little bit of a mind frak...)

(Oh and another thing, I realized that I need to find a nerd girl who also likes other non-nerdy things...like exercise and beer...in addition to thinking that spending a day watching Serbian zombie movies and cooking amazing food while complaining about politics, pop culture and indie rock is a good time. I think I am doomed in my quest mainly because I am pudgy, bald and kind of a dick, oh, and she doesn't exist.)

Brains...really? Yes, really!

Okay folks, you know that I have a thing for zombies...

And I am going to make an endorsement here for a collection of short stories.

The Best of All Flesh

(Yes, Erik, feel free to borrow it.)

Short stories, all of them well written, some of them terrifying (especially in the way that zombie stories are not about the terror of the zombies but about humanity's willingness to kill their own) and...all of them are short. I know that some people who read this are...slow...when it comes to reading words on the printed page.

It is worth the time and the money.

Pissed at myself

I could have seen him last night, but I didn't want to go another show alone...that being said, I am probably going to see MC Chris by myself.

Another version of the song from Scrubs(Episode 25).