Classic Fairy Tales, Re-told

Via Cracked.com

No, no, I am still irked about this.

This still irks me.

I am wondering if Nestle is going to offer a Chocolate Covered Pretzel Crown of Thorns for all those believing children to receive on Easter morning.

Would that be too much?

Would be be worse than the chocolate cross?

No, you are right. I should let it go.

30 Songs in 30 Days - Day 28

Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty

As in guilty pleasure? Or makes me feel ashamed for doing something wrong?

I am going to go with the first interpretation because there are no songs that make me feel like a creepy uncle gave me wine and then played "Let's keep a secret" in a basement. But looking back on the list, that would be day thirteen. (I picked Roam by the B-52's)

So....guilt? Really?

Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realises or believes--accurately or not--that they have violated a moral standard, and bear sole responsibility for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of remorse.
(source)

Nothing makes me feel guilty...really...apart from one things, which I am not going to share here (Okay, I will...I have to REDACTED...wow...that was hard to get off my chest.)

Anyway, in honor that, I give you this song.

Posted as an Apple Fanboy

The Beast File - Apple (HUNGRY BEAST) from Elmo Keep on Vimeo.

This wasn't easy to watch, but then again, the truth often isn't.

Via The Awl

On getting older...

I am old.

I am also prone to stoutness.

That being said, and understood presumably, I have to engage in athletic endeavors every couple of days or I will end up carrying more weight than I am comfortable with. Some days this is weight work, others it is yoga, and as the weather has been getting nicer, I have been jogging again.

But because I am old, and have a history of injuries*, this requires a certain amount readying.

Yesterday, this required supports for both ankles and neoprene wraps on one of my knees and one of my elbows.

I know it is ridiculous, you know it is ridiculous, but what am I going to do?

*Some of them more recent than others. The elbow was from February and last spring, after getting myself in a shape that I was not unhappy with, I learned that my knee was bone on bone at certain places. After a long, and well fed, winter, I realize I can deal with the pain. I say this now, but I reserve the right to whine about it. Others are from high school and college, I have gotten used to those.

30 Songs in 30 Days - Day 27

Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play


Yo-Yo Ma's interpretation of Bach's Unaccompanied Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major (Prelude)


While I can not find the piece on YouTube, I am sure you have heard it.


Edit: I was able to find it.

Behold My Sacrifice and Resurrection

What lesson is this sending?

"Remember, My children, My sacrifice and resurrection can be fully realized by eating My instrument of torture and death made out of chocolate."

My Life in Bullet Points

• By 11:30, I had a run, did a weight work, had my teeth whitened, and had a meeting.  
• My man crush on Jim Tedisco is only increasing.
• I really like that Facebook and Words With Friends are now linked and love that there is always someone to have a game with.
• My iPhone may be tracking me.  Meh.  I use 4Sq so, I really don't care.
• I have a fear that I may have bought my son's love yesterday.  That does not make me feel good.  Note to self, have the conversation before the shopping, not after.
• We did have a catch though, and it made me think of Field of Dreams.  "Want to have a catch, dad?"

30 Songs in 30 Days - Day 26

Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument

I cannot play anything on any instrument.

And I get invited...

A couple of years ago, I wrote a technical paper about a quick and dirty hack for getting (something geeky that none of you care about) to "reconnect" in the event of a connection issue. It was something that I thought was interesting, and it worked without having to bounce the box, which increased uptime, and it made everyone happy.

Flash forward to yesterday (Tuesday) and my e-mail inbox holding a message inviting me to present my ideas and my further work at a major conference that takes place in San Fransisco the first week of October as a guest of a major vendor.

Well, it is an honor to be nominated, but I do not know if I am going to go. Aside from my basic hatred of San Fransisco (it's like Boston without the tradition of academic excellence and four hundred years of history, and you know what I think of Boston), and the shaking and sweating I get when I think about spending three days with 40,000 people who are that geeky, I have not done anything since I put together the little paper three and a half years ago. Yep, I wrote it up and did not follow up on it. (Why? Well, because I am a normal and not an academic studying this, and I am not a technical writer/researcher.)

So, does anyone want to pretend to be me because I am not going?

30 Songs in 30 Days - Day 25

Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh

Easy.

And it is not a typically funny song but...it does make me laugh.

The Pixies with "Is She Weird" which is what I am often asked if I tell a friend that I am interested in someone.

Don't...Lie to me about beer.

My father loves the Outback Steakhouses. I do not know why but I do not question why because he is my dad and entitled to like what he likes.

So, we meet at the Outback on Wolf Road in Colonie.

(Chain restaurant, Wolf Road, Colonie. These three things are badnesses by themselves, however...together they create a tsunami (too soon?) of suck.)

My father is at the bar and tells me to get a drink. I ask the bartender for a beer list. She says that she doesn't have one of those. She then asks me what I would get when I was out someplace else. Well, it depends on my mood, and I didn't say this, but I did say "overhopped, high ABV".

"We don't have anything like that."

"So, can I see your beer list?"

"We don't have one of those."

Now, I know she has one. I have seen it. I have used it.

"Okay, I am fine."

"What would you like?"

"Nothing, I am fine."

My brother asked if something was wrong, and miraculously, I was able to keep my mouth shut.

But...when we sat down at the table, and I opened the menu...

Look at what I saw:

Yeah, it is their f***ing beer list.

Now, none of these are good beers, but they are beers.  They are on a list.

This constitutes a f***ing beer list.

So, why did the bartender (Female, brunette, mid-thirties, Sunday afternoon) lie to me?

Better question, what do I do about it?

Diner Food Revisted

After seeing Dub is a weapon on Friday night, either I suggested breakfast or Teacher Dave suggested it, and we decided to go to the Truck Stop Diner.

It was late, we were hungry, but I am a stickler, and I want to try the poached eggs in every diner in Albany.

Looks good, doesn't it?

It tasted better.

Teacher Dave got the steak and eggs and they were apparently wonderful as well.

So, I have tried a lot of poached eggs in the area, but...where am I missing? Where should I try them next?

(Also, I know a number of people who don't like a runny egg, and I am trying to figure out why. Is it a texture thing? Is it that they have the palates of children?)

More places to cycle in Albany

Albany County, the town of Bethlehem and the Mohawk Hudson Land Conservancy have formed an agreement to open a 1.85-mile section of the Albany County Rail Trail to the public.

Pending town and county approval, the path will begin at Fireman's Park near New Scotland Road in Slingerlands and end at the Veterans Park on Delaware Avenue in Delmar, officials announced last week.

Part of Rail Trail to be opened to public - Times Union

And I read something new that I like

Sunday afternoon, I ended up in one of those awful chain book superstores because my brother wanted to pick something up. Well, I was looking for something new to read but the problem with the awful chain book superstores (if I have to use it again, it will be abcss) is that the staff is generally unliterate. (NB: This is not to say that everyone who has worked in an abcss is unliterate as I know some very intelligent and well read people who have worked in an abcss and I do not wish to imply anything about them, not that they care.)

Anyway, I was left to my own devices to find something new to read.

I lucked out.

Directive 51 by John Barnes is interesting, moderately well written, and topical.

Knowing that some of you do not like genre fiction but give this one a chance!

30 Songs in 30 Days - Day 24

Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral

Can I pick two?

I mean, I have cheated a little on this but I haven't asked for two songs yet.

It is my funeral though!

The first is "Keep Me in Your Heart"



The second...and you will have to deal with it...because it is my F***ing Funeral!

"Circles" by Bob Mould

Her head on a stick

My little sister loves serial killers. (Hah! I realized that as I was typing that I could be talking about her dating choices. She has made some interesting choices, not as bad as some people I know/knew, but I do not think that anyone that she has dated has actually killed multiples of people. I could be wrong. There is that one...)

Anyway, we were talking the other day about a documentary that she had watched regarding the famous Ed Gein.

Now I have a soft spot for Ed Gein. I mean, he just loved his mother.

Plus, he inspired this scene.

Is it a wonder that I am single?

This is all about Raw Power

What kid wouldn't want an action figure like this? I mean, having Jim Osterberg on your nightstand will ensure that your dreams rock out with their c*** out!

I mean, Rollins is intimidated by this guy.







I love that story, in case you haven't guessed.

Now, I am sure that there are some of you out there that have no clue who he is. You probably know this song from either Trainspotting or a cruise line commercial.


H/T to Lux for the link.

Torn

I have had a number of conversations about this over the past couple of days, and I am torn.

No, I do not want to see another bad food franchise in Troy, but I want to see the land developed (for purely selfish purposes)...I do not know if a McDonald's is the best thing for this corner.

Memories are a hell of a thing.

Among a number of new businesses up for review before the city Planning Board is the proposed construction of a new McDonald's Restaurant on the corner of Hoosick and 15th Street.

Collar City could see new Golden Arches - troyrecord.com

Something I did not know...

I have been looking for weekend getaway places for the summer (as a place to crash in the Berkshires is now no longer a reality) as well as a place to go for Labor Day Weekend (as I am going to ensure that I am no where near Albany for it this year) and I was looking at Lake Placid.  I know nothing of the town, so I went to Wikipedia...and I saw this:

During the 1980 Olympics, Lake Placid Middle/High School was issued an alcohol license. The school served as a private bar during the Olympics. It is the only high school in the United States to be issued an alcohol license. Lake Placid, New York - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia 

Even if it is apocryphal, how awesome is that?!?

Yet another reason that I love Upstate New York!

Confession

First of all, you should be reading Questionable Content. (I often wonder how many people are reading it because I suggested it. Probably not many, but their loss.)

Secondly, I am often annoyed when people talk to me when I am at one of the (now four) coffee shops that I haunt. If I am in there it is because I need coffee, not conversation. I have my book and phone to keep me amused and while they are often sweet, well intentioned, and often attractive, I am not. (Well, at least not before my coffee. And beer. Most people only find me enjoyable after their pleasure center has been teased and their reason center turned down.)

So, baristas of the world, let a man have his coffee. I know that you are talking to me out of a forced obligation, and we both know that the flirting is just that. (Plus, why would anyone try to turn the barista/customer relationship into something more than commerce? Silly people, there be dragons there, and I can point to several examples for this belief.)

30 Songs in 30 Days - Day 23

Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding


Really?


No, I will be happily unmarried forever.  (That is not true, I can see myself getting married again but the circumstances would have to be...unique.)


So what song would I want to play at an event that is never going to happen?





Yeah, it is depressing, and it is also U2, but...let's face it.  If I were to get remarried...

Questions about friendship...

I have been thinking about friendship and relationships with friends a lot over the past month and I have some...questions and musings about them...

• Do you trust your friends implicitly? If they lose your trust, is it easier to no longer be friends with them than to try to get it to return?
• Can you tell your friends everything and when you do, do you expect mockery as well as concern?
• Do you expect candor from your friends, even when they tell you things that you won't like hearing?
• Is the nature of friendship such that it is forever even when you are no longer in contact with each other?
• Has social media made friendship better or more difficult to maintain?

Yes, but it is still a little awful. No. A lot awful.

If she is looking over your shoulder at a room full of potentially more interesting people, she is ill-mannered. If, however, she is not looking over your shoulder, but into a smartphone in her hand, she is not only well within modern social norms, but is also a wired, well-put-together person.

Add one more achievement to the digital revolution: It has made it fashionable to be rude.

Ahem! Are You Talking to Me? (Or Texting?) - NYTimes.com

Randomness for the 2135 Post on AFM

• It's Liz Phair's Brthday!  Celebrate a dysfunction relationship!
• If I am motivated to work out at five am, any type of distraction, even a butt dial, is going to set me off.  That being said, I did get a great workout it.
• The greatest answer ever for the Contest has been post.  I hooted with laughter.
• My dad is in town, and I surprised him at the airport on Wednesday.  He also came out for happy hour on Friday.  To say that it makes me happy to see him is an understatement.
• A brief, but interesting, conversation about choices has me thinking two days later.

Edit at 10:30 am

• There are several television shows that I never saw the appeal of.  These have come up over the past couple of days.  They include; Oz, The Wire, & Deadliest Catch.  Meh, I would rather read.

30 Songs in 30 Days - Day 22

Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad

This one is actually difficult.

Because sometimes I choose between wallowing and embracing the reason that I am sad (see the bulk of the music that I listen to, not that I am miserable all the time, or even some of the time, but I do listen to "old sad bastard music") or listening to a song that will get me out of that mood.

For the last eighteen months or so, I have chosen to not wallow, but try to get myself out of the mood/funk/whatever.

This is the song that I have been using.



Yeah, it is in a Diet Coke commercial.

So f***ing what? I like Diet Coke.

And yes, it was also in (500) Days of Summer, which I have had issues with in the past, loved, and now I am in the having issues with again phase. Mostly because JGL's character is too old to believe that love is perfect, et cetera, and because Summer is a bit of a (REDACTED).