On Commenters and Commenting

Roughly a week and a half ago, The Awl put up their guidelines for commenting on the site.

Two stuck out:

*You are responsible for yourself, which is the greatest freedom of all.
*People can easily mistake your sarcasm for assholism, if you're not careful.

Over the past couple of evenings, I have been hit with a number (where X > 10) of wonderfully anonymous (and reasonably vitriolic) attacks on my character, parentage, and abilities as a man sexually as well as my sexual preference. Because they were on older posts, I had the ability to moderate them, and because they were by name, I chose not to let them see the light of day.

Not because they were awful, but because they were completely anonymous and I did not want to try to figure out who they were from.

Some of them, I am sure, were an attempt to be witty, and some of them were personal attacks based on my "superficial douchiness" but...they do not really matter in the grand scheme of things.

What it got me thinking about is the free-for-all that is teh intertubes (yeah, I went there, and there is a point for using this outdated term). Sarah Palin's fake account (allegedly Lou Sarah was Sarah Palin's nom de facebook) was deleted from Facebook because "Facebook has always been based on a real name culture. This leads to greater accountability and a safer and more trusted environment for our users. It’s a violation of our policies to use a fake name or operate under a false identity...", but others who would wonderfully criticize Sarah Palin are willing to use anonymity or obviously false accounts to promote their own agenda. Bangs and a Bun asked, as have been often asked for the last decade, "Are anonymous comments killing blogs?"

Well, are they?

I don't spend a lot of time blogging, nor writing long form blog entries. I used to but then something changed. As I have said, this is a clearing house for what I find interesting or novel and YMMV.

I guess what I am asking is that if I am taking the time to share what I find interesting, and you feel the need to disagree with me, or insult my looks, intelligence, demeanor, or the interactions I have with others, at least take the time to sign your name so that I know who I am talking to. I do not leave anonymous comments, as they are anathema to my vision of the web and accountability (that is implied) for one's words and I am asking the same of you.

Or not.

It is your call.

But, if I am that awful, conceited, devious, and "a mouthpiece for hippies and Socialists", why are you bothering to read? Why bother to take the time to comment? Do you have that little going on in your life that you want to try to affect me with your words?

I welcome your retort and I look forward to what you have to say (multiple yous), so long as you are willing to sign your name.

That does not mean that I will agree with you, or even take your suggestions seriously, but it will make you feel better about yourself.

Who is booking music for Letterman this week?

On Wednesday, Letterman hosted The Mountain Goats and on Thursday, it was Bright Eyes.

Again, it was a rocking performance.



My only hope is that Letterman continues booking indie rock darlings on his show for the foreseeable future (or indie rock darlings of 2002, but I am old and I appreciate the music of my youth..or late twenties) but does being on Letterman mean that you are too mainstream to be indie? If I have heard of you from the wastelands of upstate New York, are you too mainstream to be indie? Just asking, is all...

Glenn Greenwald on Wikileaks

I do not generally agree with Glenn Greenwald (he tacks too far to the left for me) but I do agree with his views on transparency.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Corporate Hacker Tries to Take Down WikiLeaks - Glenn Greenwald
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

The news in brief

• Yes, there is a weather catastrophe going on out there and I advise all people who live on or around I-90 from Massachusetts to Montana to take care when commuting. It was a bad enough weather day, that pick-ups for the Habitat ReStore have to be rescheduled.
• I saw a headline this morning on MSNBC's Morning Joe (on the crawl at the bottom) that said "Air Pollution Causes More Heart Attacks Than Cocaine" and the first thing I thought was, "Ummm...of course, it does, almost everyone is exposed to poor air quality, while I know very few people who use blow."  Then I thought about it more and realized what a cheat that crawl was.  Anyway, it was more reporting on the story that I posted yesterday about air quality and cyclists, but the cocaine thing was a nice touch. The D
• The GOP on Obama's DOMA defense (or lack thereof), "Meh."
• In this morning's Washington Post, Eugene Robinson has an opinion piece on what the U.S. and the world should do regarding Libya. "Unambiguous, muscular words and credible threats are the least we can do for the people of Libya. Even by that low standard, we are falling woefully short."
• Banksy has a Twitter Feed.  Who knew?
• Westboro Baptist Church (Fred Phelps and company, you know "God Hates Fags", et cetera) claims Anonymous (Hackers and 4Chan-ers who are easily upset about things like Scientology and Wikileaks prosecutions) is threatening them.  Anonymous states that this is not the case. WBC persists in this argument. Anonymous hacks WBC because, "Your continued biting of the Anonymous hand, however, has earned you a swift and emotionless bitchslap, in the form of this very message. Despite having had the capability to hack your sites previously, we chose not to and instead responded maturely to your threats, but you have not respected this."
• RENT is returning to Off-Broadway.  I don't know how I feel about this, even though I did sing Santa Fe in the shower this morning.
• And answer me honestly, did anyone see the "Two and a Half Men" debacle turning out any differently? Charlie Sheen's interview was a classic.

For those who missed it...

The Mountain Goats were on the Late Show with David Letterman last night.



They performed "Birth of Serpents" and they killed it.

Devastating

While I was running more errands this afternoon, this song came up on the extensive playlist that I created earlier in the week (the aforementioned "Superficial Douche" playlist) and it caught me so off guard.



Have you ever been somewhere public (probably not, as most of you are socialized well enough that you don't block out the world with music and podcasts)and heard something that made you stop in your tracks and just listen.

This song is going to be in the soundtrack when my biopic is made (by the way, Paul Giamatti or Philip Seymour Hoffman as your rather douchey subject?) playing over the scenes where my insomnia is biting me in the ass and I am listening to the 3 am voices.

Speaking of the biopic, I need a cool sidekick to play an Über Version of my friends? Who should it be? I am thinking someone like Michael Shanks.

Another Reason to Keep on Peddlin'

As any city cyclist will know, riding your bike in heavy traffic can be, metaphorically speaking, a heartstopping experience.

But now research has found that it is literally one of the biggest triggers of heart attacks.

In a new sliding scale of everyday risks that prove the ‘final straw’ in bringing on a heart attack, spending time in traffic – as a driver, cyclist or commuter – tops the list because of factors including stress and exposure to pollution.

But of these, cyclists are in greatest danger because they are more heavily exposed to pollution and are subjecting themselves to another major heart attack trigger, exercise.

Daily Mail Online

Or as Balk snarks:

See, not only will bicycling turn you into a narcissistic prick teeming with self-righteousness and an inability to shut up about how much you're helping the environment, but it will also kill you. Although I guess that is the kind of self-selecting behavior I am in favor of.

I prefer superficial douchebag to narcissistic prick, but it is a tomato v. tomata thing, isn't it?

As a follow-up to Things that turn 20 this year

A couple of weeks ago (or so) I put up Things That Turn 20 This Year.

Now, via the Awl, and from Anthony Is Right, we have Ten Things that will turn 20 and Ten Things that will turn 40.

Ten Things That Will Turn 20 This Year

Inspired by seeing a bit of New Jack City last night, which will also be turning 20.

* Terminator 2: Judgment Day
* Lollapalooza
* Nirvana’s Nevermind
* REM’s Out Of Time
* My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless
* Hot Shots!
* The Death Of Freddie Mercury
* Michael Jackson’s “Black Or White”
* Disney’s Beauty & The Beast
* Thelma And Louise

And here’s ten things that will turn 40. However old these things seemed to you in 1991, that’s how stuff from 1991 will seem to kids today.

* Dirty Harry
* The Concert For Bangladesh
* Led Zeppelin’s Led Zeppelin IV
* The Rolling Stones’ Sticky Fingers
* Funkadelic’s Maggot Brain
* Harold And Maude
* The Death Of Jim Morrison
* John Lennon’s “Imagine”
* Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (the movie)
* Klute

And my rewiring skills fail me...

While I was running errands this morning, I realized two things:

1. My laptop was not charged.
2. I had broken the AC Adapter for it.

Being the geek that I am, I quickly cut the cable to find the break to see if I could fix it. It looked easy enough. I then headed home, with a stop at the local hardware store for supplies (flux and electrical tape).

With an impending sense of pride in my soon to be completed fix, I started my work. It wasn't difficult work, and the connection was fairly large, so...easy, right?

Well, no.

When everything was put back together, and tested, it wouldn't work. Adding injury to insult, a drop of solder can quickly burn through pants and skin. (Again, my bad for not wearing proper PPE.)

Luckily for me, I have a backup and ASUS has overnight shipping.

At least they aren't calling themselves Jedi...

Rolling Stone has a surprisingly good piece of journalism on their site about using Pys-Ops to target US Senators and Congresspeople.

There has been a dust up of criticism this morning, and I suggest you read the article.

Apologies for making a Men Who Stare At Goats joke in the title.

Full Metal Beetle Bailey

Watching this, you think, "This is well done, but...pedestrian" and then it keeps going...and going, and it keeps getting better. It is better when you aren't a fan of Beetle Bailey.

It becomes something that you would see on Family Guy where the joke keeps going and going and if becomes uncomfortable while remaining funny.

H/T to Tom Brennan for posting this to Facebook.

15 Vocalists?

(Maura tagged me on Facebook with this meme.)

The rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen vocalists that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than five minutes.
(Starting at 2:26)
1. Liz Phair
2. Robert Smith
3. Morrissey
4. John Darnielle
5. Meghan Ball
6. Sinead
7. Johnny Cash
8. Thom Yorke
9. Elvis Costello
10. Sting
11. Bruce Springsteen
12. Kurdt Cobain
13. Courtney Love
14. Paul Simon
15. Colin Hay
(Completed at 2:28)

And Barry Does the Right Thing

Funny story, Barry and Michelle's first date was Do the Right Thing (which I love as a film, for the record, and I know what the riot started) and Barry has finally come around to doing it.

Obama has finally order the Justice Department to stop defending DoMA.

Yay.

I know this was not a priority for the Obama Administration with two wars, a global economic collapse, and the fallout from the previous administration.

So, first thing being handled was DADT, which is kind of gone right now, and now DoMA, but...

Why did he wait so long? Is this a throwaway to the left so it looks like the Administration is doing something as the GOP on a state level goes after unions and the right to collective bargaining. (Which is another post, but most of you know where I stand on this, both personally and politically, and how I feel about teachers specifically.)

That's what it feels like to me. Indiana and Wisconsin are trying to destroy strong labor, Kansas is being even more strict about reproductive rights, and on the Federal level, the House is de-funding Planned Parenthood, NPR, and PBS, as well as a number of social initiatives that are near and dear to me.

So, is Barry placating the left?

I swear it wasn't something I ate...

When I found myself getting read for bed at 10:30, I was proud because I was tired and I was letting my body tell me when it was time to sleep. When I woke up at three thirty in a cold sweat because of the dreams I was having, I doubted the efficacy of my plan.

I did write some notes, but as it was three thirty, and my handwriting is not the best under better circumstances, all I get from them is an illegible scrawl of terror.

The dream started off nicely enough. It was a sunny day and I was walking into a bar to presumably get another beverage. At this point, I ran into one of the two women who referred to me as pathetic last year (at least to me, I am sure that there were far more of them, I am just unaware that my existence is pathos-inducing for them) and then it got weird. There was some sort of ninja attack at the bar, and multiple events were happening concurrently. The ninjas were attacking, WWRTMAP* was coordinating the attack, and all I could think of was getting another beer and getting to the jukebox. For some completely absurd reason, I believed that playing the right song would force the ninjas (ninjettes actually as they were women) to go to sleep. For the life of me, I cannot remember the song, but I did write down "Elton John" so I am going to assume that the ninjettes were going to be subdued by "Tiny Dancer". Just go with it...



Anyway, I never got to the jukebox, because WWRTMAP lost control of the ninjettes, who went on a brutal killing spree and then...wait for it...exploded, their viscera coating the walls like a demented Jackson Pollock piece. WWRTMAP grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out a side door, and then she called me pathetic again and blamed me for her loss of control of her ninjettes and then demanded that I help her clean ninjette blood off the walls or pay for someone to do it, because it was all my fault.

For some reason that made sense in the dream, I handed her a bunch of money (all that was in my wallet, which may have been all the money I had in the world) and told her that it wasn't my fault but I was going to do it anyway because I felt I needed to do it. Dream me also believed the money to be counterfeit, so there is that.

At that point, WWRTMAP started slapping (and not in the sexy and enjoyable way) and screaming at me because she did not need or want my charity and she was a strong woman capable of doing anything that she put her mind to. I agreed with her (because WWRTMAP is entirely capable and because I did not want to get hit any more) and that only infuriated her further. I backed away from her, her voice raised to the level of a jumbo jet at takeoff, and found the latch for the gate. I threw the cash at her (which is hindsight, was completely passive aggressive on my part) and ran into the street.

I had no cash, I was covered in gore, and I was terrified. I went into the park (Washington, I believe) and found the Lake House, after being chased by a homeless person (which was a definite shout out to The Unnamed) and there was a party going on there. There was a server passing out beers, and I grabbed one and sat down. The host came over, knew my name, and started asking about the incident at the earlier bar. I didn't think to ask him how he knew about it. He then asked if I had spoken to the police because they wanted to talk to me after killing all those ninjettes.

And that is when I woke up.

*Woman Who Referred To Me As Pathetic

Hipster Disney Princess

I may be in love. I mean, they are Disney cartoons and all, but...the feeling that was invoked. I think I may need to find a woman with great eye-wear and Sleater-Kinney lyrics tattooed on the inside of her forearms.

I can taste the condescension and disdain already.

See them all at Geekosystem.

You can also see them in their original glory at Hell.Yes.Hipster.Disney which is very well done.

Metroland's Reader Survey - My favorite answer

Q: Best Thing That Could Happen to Troy
A: Apocalyptic Fire

You can take the survey here. I would not be upset if you wanted to vote for the superficial douche and write in afutilemistake.com for best local blog. Or for Friday Puppy or All Over Albany...they are deserving too. You have until tomorrow, February 23rd.

Thanks, Metroland!

If Star Wars was created by Dr. Seuss

See more at Bit Rebels

Wonderful Things from my Life on the Web

• Sarah Palin may be my favorite snowbilly hick right now.  She is commenting on her own Facebook fan page using the account Lou Sarah.
• Chris Matthews' President of the World was interesting, in a fawning sort of way.  The Huffington Post decide to have some fun with it, showing how it would look if other networks produced it.
• If you set yourself a limit of $20 for fresh food for the week, would using $0.90 of change be cheating if you didn't count it against your total?  I say, "yes".
• The Sounds have a new album coming out and they streamed their new single last night, Something to Die For. I happen to like it, but, I like the Sounds and I am willing to understand those who don't care for them.  Understand does not necessarily translate to "like" though. 
• When I find myself agreeing with Mike Lupica, there is a problem.  Especially when it comes to NBA basketball, which I only try to maintain enough attention to so that I do not look like even more of an idiot. Yep, the Knicks got played, and 'Melo, while very good, will not be the savior of the franchise.
• As I mentioned on Facebook, I created a playlist in iTunes called "Superficial Douche" and if I do so say myself, it is a wonderfully quirky mixture of indie and faux indie rock. 
• I just applied for what may be my dream job.  I will be sure to post cryptic updates about the pace of my application.
• "It would be quite an accomplishment for Union, the last-place team in the ECAC four short years ago, to be the champion. But I’m guessing that a first appearance in the NCAA tournament as a Division I team would mean a whole lot more to the Dutchmen. And, really, it should mean something to all of the ECAC and show those teams that are struggling to get by now that better times might not be too far away." USCHO Tuesday Morning Quarterback
  

I, for one, welcome our robot overlords

"We've seen that movie. It ends with robots harvesting our bodies for energy."



My brother and I were watching television (Castle, for those who are interested) and this commercial came on.

We both cackled like madmen.

Whichever agency is handling the Chrysler's various brands is doing an amazing job this year. (FAU, please weigh in on who the agency is.)

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

• itching
• vertigo
• dizziness
• tingling in extremities
• loss of balance or coordination
• slurred speech
• temporary blindness
• profuse sweating
• heart palpitations

If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Warnings via Wikipedia, video via NBC

Happy Birthday, DFW

David Foster Wallace would have been forty nine today. Young for a regular person (meaning: settling into later middle age) but older for a writer.

As I admitted then, and am admitting now, I cried when he past away. Not because I knew him, and not because his books had profoundly changed my life (though, Consider the Lobster did make me rethink my relationship with food.) but because he was a writer who challenged me. It took me four or fives times to finally get through Infinite Jest (and I was glad that I finally did) and his other works often left me with an internal debate about suppositions made. Everything and More made me rethink my base assumptions about math and philosophy and that is a goodness.

Every once in a while, you need your assumptions rocked, or...you end up being a superficial douche.

I remember reading this piece in the New Yorker when it fist came out and I think it may be a fitting tribute to a man who left as many questions unanswered as he dared. Enjoy revisiting it.

Slow start to a Monday

I stayed up so I could finish rereading Feed last night, and when 12:30 rolled around, I wasn't tired. This was a badness because I had a webinar at 6:30 this morning. (The joys of being interested in OpenERP and having the webinar originating from Germany.)

At 4:00 am (after a snafu with my iPhone that required not one but two calls to customer support, AT&T was great, by the way), I decided that I needed some sleep in order to be remotely functional.

At 6:00, my alarm went off, I started up my laptop, and hit snooze. At 6:09, the alarm went off again, I logged into my account and into the site and hit snooze again. At 6:19, I hit snooze one more time.

At roughly 6:30 or so, I rolled over, put on my glasses and realized that I was signed into the webinar, that my camera was on, and that those who were interested in looking at me had been abe to watch me sleeping, and probably snoring, for the last twenty minutes. (This was one of my fears and I thought I had turned Auto-Camera On off.)

I quickly turned off the camera and heard nothing of the webinar because I was mortified that someone watched me sleep.

Yeah...

After the thing, I went back to bed, and had disturbing dreams about being followed around on camera. It was...in a word...awful.

Music on a Sunday

After listening to The King of Limbs almost constantly for 24 hours, I needed something else to listen to. (Don't get me wrong, I really like this...album, I suppose, but it has a long way to go to becoming my favorite.)

After running errands (in the deceptively cold weather), I came home to read (Feed: zombies, politics and social media. It is more than a little awesome. If you are looking for something interesting, at least as mind candy goes, pick it up at your local independent bookstore.) and I turned on Music Choice's Adult Alternative station, which was enlightening for several reasons:

• Every time I hear Jack Johnson, I think not of his status but that he recorded essentially a children's album that my son enjoyed.  So, when most people think of him, they have this image, and I have an image of my toddler enjoying music that I did not find cloying or annoying.
• David Gray released an album last year and I totally did not hear about it.  Seeing that I went to see him (by myself) last year, I assumed that it would have popped up on my radar.  Thank you iTunes for making things like this easy to get.
• I like Matt Nathanson.  A couple of years ago, Shauna told all her friends to start listening to and adoring this guy.  I heard what she had to say, gave it a try, and promptly forgot about it.  Flash forward to this afternoon where I was happily reading and barely listening to the music in the background...and then I heard a song that got me paying attention to the lyrics.  This is almost unheard of for me when reading, and I looked up and saw it was Matt Nathanson.  To say that I was chagrined would be an understatement.  Anyway, after a phone call (where the funniest line she has ever uttered was released), including an apology, and a couple of e-mails, I am now listening to various live and rare tracks hand selected.

One last thing...

The Mountain Goats are scheduled to be on Letterman on Wednesday.  Set your DVRs or VCRs or just wait for the clip to show up on YouTube.

Comic without Comment

Via rhymes with witch

Hall of Game: Robin Ventura

Only player to hit one grand slam during each end of a double-header (May 20, 1999)

Hit a "Grand Slam Single" in the 1999 NLCS against the Atlanta Braves

Hit 18 career grand slams, placing him in a tie with Willie McCovey for 5th on the all-time list, behind Lou Gehrig (23), Manny Ramírez (21), Alex Rodriguez (20), and Eddie Murray (19). 6.1% of his career home runs were grand slams, the highest ratio of any player with at least 250 career home runs.

Via Wikipedia

Robin Ventura is the man. I mean, look at the above image. He even allowed an aging Nolan Ryan to kick his ass so an old man could feel good about himself. That is class.

More than that, he played the game well and played it well for a long time. He had many singular moments, and some incredible days. (Two grand slams in one game!)

He is just under the three hundred home run threshold, which used to be automatic induction, and his core numbers are just a little too low for the HoF committee to include him.

So, let me offer my support for Robin Ventura as a member of the Hall of Game.

Baseball Prospectus