And I consume media...

William Gibson has written my favorite opening line to any book with Neuromancer and more than a couple of my favorite novels can be attributed to him.

I am a fan boy.

I finished Zero History on Thursday morning and I have been...thinking...or processing this novel.

For those of you who need some catching up, many of the characters that were introduced in Spook Country reappear, all connected with Bigend in some way, and they seem to be the same characters, with some other differences, but...

Yeah, that's the problem with this novel. There is no there there. While I did care about Hollis Henry (nearly as much as I cared for Cayce Pollard, who you do find out about what happened to her after the end of Pattern Recognition), there wasn't the same urgency that existed in the first two books. There is the same search for something unique yet commodifiable but again, different. Maybe it is the subject of this quest...while I am interested in locative art and odd web videos and interesting cryptographical challenges, I could give a damn about the combination of streetwear and military gear.

Bigend is taking on Bondian villian proportions with his machinations and his hardware (the aerofoil done up in Hermes, really?) and it was almost laughable but not.

It isn't as if this is a bad novel. It isn't at all. If I can refer to another piece of media that I love, remember the cookie dough speech from the series finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where Buffy Sommers confesses to not being quite done yet.

Well...

This novel is like Buffy's cookie dough. Brilliant but...not quite done yet.

It is better than The Switch though.


My first question is when did someone decide that Jennifer Aniston was a movie star? Like the above novel, it isn't that she's awful...she isn't...it is just that she is Rachel Greene and she will always be Rachel. This movie is Rachel having (another) baby, with Patrick Wilson as the presumed donor of genetic materials.

I am assuming that you have seen the commercial for this film but...check it out on YouTube and you get the entire film in two minutes.

The saving graces of this film are Jason Bateman and Jeff Goldblum who play off each other so well, and Goldblum is wonderfully smarmy in every scene he is in, chewing on the lines and sucking every last bit of comedy like some sweet marrow.

And then we get to Jason Bateman.

JMFJT observed that he is the definition of "cute" and he handles it well here. So cute that when standing next to Patrick Wilson, you forget for a moment that Wilson is a good looking man.

But cute can only carry you so far, and when the script is this bad and the premise of the film so...icky...the film becomes a Rom-Com of the most banal variety.

The One Where I Almost Die

Yesterday, Teacher Dave and I were in Saratoga.

Saratoga is a good day for Habitat for Humanity's ReStore as there are some wonderful donations with people remodeling kitchens that were new three years ago.

One of the homes that we went to had a monsterous GE Monogram Series Side-by-side stainless steel refrigerator that they wanted to donate. It was seven and a half feet tall. Because we are still using a rental truck (see my birthday post), some challenges are presented as the clearance on the door of the rental is only six feet.

In order to get the roughly 750 lbs. monster in the truck, one must get it almost close to vertical with it strapped into the furniture dolly.

I do not have long arms. (Face it, I have nothing that is long.) I thought I could do it. It was the only option. Yes, I have done a full incident mitigation process in my head, trying to figure out what I could have done differently and nothing would have changed.

I was (with help) able to get the monster up the ramp and almost under the door.

Then the cart got stuck and I lost my grip and went down. Hard. With the wonderful beast above me. In the 3/10 of a second between losing my grip and having this on top of me, I sae the proverbial life flash...well...not all of it...I saw the faces of the people who I love and there were a surprising number of people there.

I hit my elbow hard and it is sore to the touch and swollen (but not yet bruised) and after a couple of hours, I realized I must of landed hard on my tailbone, as sitting it painful. (And at 1 am, I let out a yelp that would have woken the dead when I rolled over from my side to my back)

But...

It could have been so much worse. Broken elbow...crushed pelvis...death.

I was lucky, thought I did freak out a little once TD and I got into the cab of the truck.

I may need a nice quiet library volunteer experience.

Peoples' Revolution?!?

Andy Cuomo will be the next Governor of New York State.

There. I said it.

Carl Paladino will spend a lot of money to lose in November and it won't change the fact that Andy Cuomo will be the Governor-Elect in seven weeks.

Mr. Cuomo will be a good Governor. What is funny about this is that Rick Lazio would have made a good Governor as well.

Carl Paladino will make an awesomely bad Governor. He would make an awesomely bad public servant.

But...he will be fun to watch?

Let's look at Lazio. Ten years ago, he was selected to run against someone with great name recognition and he put forward a valid campaign that had a chance to win (with the exception of some of his behavior at one of the debates) and this year, he was made, once again, the sacrificial lamb for the GOP. But Carl Paladino had other ideas.

Those ideas are full of hatred, anger, and short on ideas and ideals.

Which is what New York needs...and the GOP gives is Carl Paladino.

The era of the New York Republican Party as a voice of moderation and reason is over.

By the way...Carl, Peoples' Revolution (which you proclaimed your victory to be) reminds me of Chairman Mao. Just sayin'.

If I Could Turn Back Time……

This is a guest post from JMFJT

I would have never have agreed to attend a networking event at a not-so-local VFW.

This event made a colonoscopy with no anesthesia while eating potato chips seem like a good idea.

Highlights included:

• JMFJT engaging in a competition of sorts with a girl who was what would have been produced if the Hoff and Blondie mated.
• Manders manhandling a jumbo hotdog and not understanding that there were immature people all around her who live for moments like that.
• Who knew an “inn” was synonymous with a “bar?”
• An overly-energetic rendition of “Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning.” This song is more depressing than watching your dog get shot and this guy had mucho gusto.

What did I sing, you ask?

If I Could Turn Back Time – Cher
Heartbreaker – Pat Benatar

No, there are no videos. Yes, you can see it live some random Friday at the Side Door Café.

Random Observations...

(More than most, this is self indulgent navel gazing.)

A) We had a family birthday party (my family) for TEA and I. It was a very good time.

Two items of note:

My brother decided that this was the perfect gift bag for me. Note the rhinestones and sparkles.



Secondly, even though TEA and I are both Batman guys, Dr. Dana insisted on getting a Spiderman cake because she likes Spiderman.



B) My mother finally figured out why I love HIMYM. It was a nice observation on her part and she did it without making me feel like an idiot, which he does unintenionally when it comes to my adoration of things like pop culture.

C) Speaking of pop culture, I just finished reading Empire Falls by Richard Russo (at the memory of it sitting on AmiJS' bookself for the bulk of our relationship) and I am kicking myself for not having read it sooner. It is an amazing piece of fiction.

D) After shaving this morning, and putting my glasses back on in order to complete my daily ritual, I noticed white (not silver) hairs at my temples, and it helped make me think of what I need to do to...grow up...I guess. I will take suggestions on what you may think is important.

E) I have found my Halloween costume.

These dreams...

Instead of a nightmare, I had a dream that I was running for Congress in and around Upstate NY. What was odd about this was the rallies that I was attending.

Every rally I went to, I had a different spouse, mostly to placate the various crowds that I was trying to woo.

Yes, the cynicism of this is not lost on me.

I also seemed to be courting groups regardless of where they stood. I went to church rallies, sportsman rallies, queer rights rallies, and a pro-pot rally, all wanting their votes.

I suppose that I am, in my heart, a political animal.

And now I am embarrassed

So JMFJT and I were watching Syracuse get the crap kicked out of them by UW and I suggested darts.

This was as bad a mistake as a land war in Central Asia.

Epic.

She has demonstrated that she is better than I am at this bar sport but this time...

I was beaten like I owed her money.

See?


Wow. That was an ass kicking.