Raise your hand if you remember Real Genius.
Now...
Raise your hand if you quote from this movie way too often.
"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?!?"."
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Keywords
Oh, some of these are wonderful, and by wonderful I mean...
WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU THINKING, PEOPLE?
WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU THINKING, PEOPLE?
- "does out of order dvd feature justine bateman topless" Sorry, no. But they are real and they are spectacular.
- "how to make puffy clouds on cake" What? I have no clue what would lead you to AFM. Move along. This blog prefers pie to cake.
- "pictures of torture implement" Why are you coming here? Seriously? If you want torture, go over to redacted because he is basically unreadable anyway.
- "rem death note cosplay" I am afraid. I have a friend who recently discovered what Dolcett was (I dare you to look it up if you don't know what it is...just not at work...or near children...or the elderly.) and she had a difficult reaction to it. I am afraid that I may have the same reaction that she did.
- "questionable content rule 34" HAH! I supposed this fits the theme. (For those of you who do not know what Rule 34 is...)
This is my 2500th post on AFM. That is a little amazing.
Important Movie Quotes - My Blue Heaven
"It was a disappointing Christmas on many levels."
Another movie that people make fun of me for liking.
This is a natural follow-up to Goodfellas and so very enjoyable. It is also one of my favorite performances of Steve Martin.
Another movie that people make fun of me for liking.
This is a natural follow-up to Goodfellas and so very enjoyable. It is also one of my favorite performances of Steve Martin.
You take the good, you take the bad...
- I had a dream where I was being conditioned to be part of a desert unit that was a combination T.E. Lawrence and Resident Evil: Extinction. It was odd. This time I can not blame it on a burrito.
- My alarm went off at 5:30 am (as it does) and the back up alarm went off at 7:30 am (as it does) and I woke up at 9:21 am (DO NOT WANT) which normally would not have been a big deal however I made a choice to not pack and do laundry last night so that I could run errands with my brother.
- I grabbed my laundry basket and noticed that my spray bottle had leaked all over the bag of laundry supplies.
- Both machines were open, and I separated my darks and blacks, and off to the laundry races. As I headed upstairs to the apartment, I realized that, in my haste, I had forgotten my iPhone. Once I tried to open the door, I realized that, in my haste, I had forgotten my iPhone, my keys, and to unlock the door.
- Luckily, one of the nice people who is working on the building let me borrow their cell phone, and I was able to call my brother, who arrived within ten minutes. He was, as one could expect, laughing at me.
- When I settled into the apartment, I figured I would locate my iPhone, and plug my Skull Candy into Shuffle and...then it hit me...even though I had taken the time to clean out the pockets of my jeans, I never checked the coin pocket, and that is were I have been keeping the Shuffle. Making sure the door was unlocked, and that I had my phone, I ran down the stairs, threw open the washer, and searched for the Shuffle. No luck there. I went back upstairs and searched for it. No luck there.
- Luckily, the iPod Shuffle seems to be a lot more water proof than other Apple products. This makes me happy
- I get to spend the afternoon with TEA. I am trying to figure out if it is the movies and Indian food or the comic book shop and pizza.
- Tomorrow, I have breakfast plans with Teacher/Trucker Dave at Duncan's Dairy Bar before volunteering at Habitat for Humanity.
- Then...off to Boston & Providence for the weekend and early part of next week. I am looking forward to time with HJ77, shopping at the Hope Street Farmers' Market, dinner at Cook and Brown, and an oral history panel that will force me to be on my best behavior.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The song you should be listening to the week...
Wild Flag - Romance from Merge Records on Vimeo.
Wild Flag's Romance
Read the review of the album in the WaPo.
If you aren't in love with Carrie Brownstein, what is wrong with you? (I mean, I understand not really getting Sleater-Kinney (well, not really, but I am trying to allow for people who grew up in religious households or were never introduced to good things...you can escape your breeding but only if you want to.) but since Portlandia, how could you not love her?)
You can buy the album from Merge.
Important Movie Quotes - Buckaroo Banzai
Remember, no matter where you go, there you are...
I have a deep and abiding love for this film.
My brothers, my friends, and strangers make fun of me for this but...it is so good, and look at that cast.
The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai (Here is the HD trailer from the 2011 re-release)
Evil...pure and simple...from the Eighth Dimension.
I have a deep and abiding love for this film.
My brothers, my friends, and strangers make fun of me for this but...it is so good, and look at that cast.
The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai (Here is the HD trailer from the 2011 re-release)
Evil...pure and simple...from the Eighth Dimension.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sleepwalk With Me...
One of the reasons I like him is because he tells stories as opposed to doing "jokes" and his stories are often very funny while being a terrifying look at some of the things that terrify me...like hyposomnia (which is what I suffer from, not insomnia...thank you, A.J. Jacobs for edifying me on the difference) and hypochondria. Yesterday, while I was waiting for something to install, I read Sleepwalk With Me (It was 148 pages on my Nook. This was not much of a time investment.) and while some of the stories were ones that I was familiar with, others were new, but...they all had a poignancy that they lacked (well, not all) while I was listening to them but was more apparent on the page.
Anyway, check him out. He...always makes me laugh.
Geek Notes (Or things that tick me off)
1. "That's not what the guy at Best Buy said."
2. "The older version of this software was so much better."
3. "Why can't you do it for free?"
4. "That doesn't seem so hard."
5. "If you can do this, you should probably be doing X, Y, Z."
Inspired by real life and this list.
1. "That's not what the guy at Best Buy said."
This is my personal favorite. It does not have to be limited to Best Buy either. It can be any big box store where the staff seems friendly, knowledgeable, and has been trained in the art of the up-sell. This is usually said to me when I am elbow deep in fixing an issue and the person who issues this statement is feeling put off because I am either ignoring them entirely or answering with monosyllabic grunts and they feel like stating this as a way of establishing a dialogue or it has something to do with primate dominance. Either works.
I do not know what the training regime at Best But is. For all I know they could require advanced degrees in info tech/science from the local polytechnic or state university as a condition of employment. They could be correct.
The funny thing about this statement is that Best Buy sells services as well. You could call them up, have them come out and everything would be fine. Or it would not be...but they would be charging you.
2. "The older version of this software was so much better."
I recently helped someone upgrade their office suite from a version that was released in the early Aughts to something that was much more recent. There were functional reasons for this upgrade, including the older product reaching the declared end of life, but mostly it was because the newer version was much better about auto-saving documents and I did not have to worry about 11 pm phone calls about saving this important letter.
I finishing installing the software, patching it, and I am about to start another task, when I hear someone complaining that this software cannot do what the old software did. Actually, in most software releases they do not decrease functionality.
"Are you looking in the right place?"
"Oh, there it is."
Then there is the requisite conversation about the pace of change and how UI designers should "just leave well enough alone" as if there was not testing to determine that the new UI would offer ease of use as well as greater functionality (you can have both) for the end users. Nope, it was just some guy in Redmond or Mountain View that decided that he wanted to screw with millions of people.
3. "Why can't you do it for free?"
True story. Talking to someone who is at their office and their large multi-function printer has gone offline. It is not doing anything. This is a problem because it is a paper driven office. This person calls me and asks if I can do anything. I cannot, but I say that I could call some people who may be able to do something and I mention that they will have to be paid.
"Why can't you do it for free?" and then it became a thing about people being greedy.
Sadly, this has happened more than once.
When all you have is information, that information takes on a value. Information and the ability to apply said information is a commodity and it should be treated as such.
4. "That doesn't seem so hard."
*shakes head*
No, it isn't. I was able to teach myself most of what I know about how desktops work in less than a week. It took a little bit longer for other things, but desktops...especially with consumer grade software...just a week.
It wasn't that hard to figure out how things are supposed to work when they are working well. When things are broken, however, I do not know what to say. It still takes me research to understand why your trip to "Large & Lovely Italian American Princesses" caused several pernicious viruses to install themselves on your machine.
It is going to be a lot of hurry up and wait for me.
And here is the thing...if you took some time to educate yourself about this tool, this tool that you use often, you would understand that it is more difficult than you are giving credit for OR you would not get into this mess in the first place.
5. "If you can do this, you should probably be doing X, Y, Z."
This one may be related to my family. Every member of my family has their own set of skills that they excel with, just like your family, and just like your family, not everyone is comfortable or conversant with and in technology. And as most of you know, tech is a very broad field with a lot of very specialized things going on, and while some of the skills are transferable, not all of them are.
"Oh, you cook French food. You know, I have a friend who is working at McDonald's. Maybe you two can collaborate."
It becomes frustrating because it shows that after I mention something technical about my life, you are just tuning it out. I take pride in the things that I do, and I try to do them very well.
2. "The older version of this software was so much better."
3. "Why can't you do it for free?"
4. "That doesn't seem so hard."
5. "If you can do this, you should probably be doing X, Y, Z."
Inspired by real life and this list.
1. "That's not what the guy at Best Buy said."
This is my personal favorite. It does not have to be limited to Best Buy either. It can be any big box store where the staff seems friendly, knowledgeable, and has been trained in the art of the up-sell. This is usually said to me when I am elbow deep in fixing an issue and the person who issues this statement is feeling put off because I am either ignoring them entirely or answering with monosyllabic grunts and they feel like stating this as a way of establishing a dialogue or it has something to do with primate dominance. Either works.
I do not know what the training regime at Best But is. For all I know they could require advanced degrees in info tech/science from the local polytechnic or state university as a condition of employment. They could be correct.
The funny thing about this statement is that Best Buy sells services as well. You could call them up, have them come out and everything would be fine. Or it would not be...but they would be charging you.
2. "The older version of this software was so much better."
I recently helped someone upgrade their office suite from a version that was released in the early Aughts to something that was much more recent. There were functional reasons for this upgrade, including the older product reaching the declared end of life, but mostly it was because the newer version was much better about auto-saving documents and I did not have to worry about 11 pm phone calls about saving this important letter.
I finishing installing the software, patching it, and I am about to start another task, when I hear someone complaining that this software cannot do what the old software did. Actually, in most software releases they do not decrease functionality.
"Are you looking in the right place?"
"Oh, there it is."
Then there is the requisite conversation about the pace of change and how UI designers should "just leave well enough alone" as if there was not testing to determine that the new UI would offer ease of use as well as greater functionality (you can have both) for the end users. Nope, it was just some guy in Redmond or Mountain View that decided that he wanted to screw with millions of people.
3. "Why can't you do it for free?"
True story. Talking to someone who is at their office and their large multi-function printer has gone offline. It is not doing anything. This is a problem because it is a paper driven office. This person calls me and asks if I can do anything. I cannot, but I say that I could call some people who may be able to do something and I mention that they will have to be paid.
"Why can't you do it for free?" and then it became a thing about people being greedy.
Sadly, this has happened more than once.
When all you have is information, that information takes on a value. Information and the ability to apply said information is a commodity and it should be treated as such.
4. "That doesn't seem so hard."
*shakes head*
No, it isn't. I was able to teach myself most of what I know about how desktops work in less than a week. It took a little bit longer for other things, but desktops...especially with consumer grade software...just a week.
It wasn't that hard to figure out how things are supposed to work when they are working well. When things are broken, however, I do not know what to say. It still takes me research to understand why your trip to "Large & Lovely Italian American Princesses" caused several pernicious viruses to install themselves on your machine.
It is going to be a lot of hurry up and wait for me.
And here is the thing...if you took some time to educate yourself about this tool, this tool that you use often, you would understand that it is more difficult than you are giving credit for OR you would not get into this mess in the first place.
5. "If you can do this, you should probably be doing X, Y, Z."
This one may be related to my family. Every member of my family has their own set of skills that they excel with, just like your family, and just like your family, not everyone is comfortable or conversant with and in technology. And as most of you know, tech is a very broad field with a lot of very specialized things going on, and while some of the skills are transferable, not all of them are.
"Oh, you cook French food. You know, I have a friend who is working at McDonald's. Maybe you two can collaborate."
It becomes frustrating because it shows that after I mention something technical about my life, you are just tuning it out. I take pride in the things that I do, and I try to do them very well.
Dreams...what?
1. I was in some jungle country during a typhoon and earthquake. The most vivid memory of this dream is watching an ambulance run over a protester.
2. Yep, I lost this one. I did have two distinct dreams. Maybe I should have written them up when I had the chance earlier this morning.
Edit at 7:31: I remember something. There were hot dogs or sausages and they were being treated with a reverence that I found absurd. I kept insisting that we go to Gus's.
2. Yep, I lost this one. I did have two distinct dreams. Maybe I should have written them up when I had the chance earlier this morning.
Edit at 7:31: I remember something. There were hot dogs or sausages and they were being treated with a reverence that I found absurd. I kept insisting that we go to Gus's.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Cheers & Jeers for a Monday
Cheers:
- Everyone speaks well of the "WTF Podcast" (and it is deserved), but I really like Girl on Guy with Aisha Tyler. Just for the simple reason that Aisha Tyler is much hotter than Marc Maron. For some of my male readers, this may be the only girl on guy that you will have in your life without cash being exchanged.
- Is there a more utilitarian item of clothing for guys than that grey t-shirt?
- Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. A great breakfast at a wonderfully greasy spoon several times over the same weekend with different friends makes it even better.
- Skull Candy noise cancelling headphones make life even more awesome, even if it means that I am the guy walking down the street while being totally oblivious to your lives.
- Walgreen's is giving away a flu shot to someone in need for every Foursquare check-in.
Jeers:
- MLB should have let the Mets wear the FDNY and NYPD hats.
- I love Big Blue but the combination of Eli and Coughlin is going to end up killing me.
- Two games in and Union's football season is effectively over.
- Falling asleep early leading to waking up early. Earlier than most things in the world are open.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
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