Family

My mother had a tree decorating decorating party last night. It was a sweet idea.




The issue was my son and nephew (both seven) were so keyed up (for the Holidays, because it was the end of a long week, because the are both seven years old) that they were banshees.

In order to provide some peace and quiet, I told them that I would take them for a walk.

As we were walking around the ponds in my mother's complex, I looked up and saw adults having a nice cocktail party going on in another apartment.

It made me feel sad for a moment. THAT is what I should have been doing! That is what my life is (or so I thought) and when I got back to my mom's, my mood had changed and I wasn't able to deal with the hyperactivity of two normal healthy seven year olds at this time of year.

I may have snapped at TEA.

I may have been that dad that I never wanted to be.

I was sad about being a dad.

As a consequence, I wasn't able to fall asleep until 4:30.

Everything was moving through my head...what is my life? What do I want?

When I awoke, I made coffee and breakfast and I was still feeling off...and then I looked at my walls, and my the door of my fridge.


I am a parent, and I am a dad, and I need to understand that. The only thing that really matters in my life is my son, and maybe I have to remember that more often.

So, TEA, who doesn't read this, I am sorry and I will try to do better.