Self Selecting Behavior

(I wrote this about four years ago, however, my view really hasn't changed and after not being able to find it on the series of tubes, I assumed a repost may be in order)

I see you. You are walking towards my son and me at a big box store. You are wearing a "faux vintage" Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt, jeans that you purchased looking distressed and square toed dress shoes. You have a really stupid haircut. My son is looking at the new Batman toys, which you happen to be looking at also. You sigh audibly when my son shows enthusiasm for these toys and, in sotto voce, state to your companion, "I hate brats."

Now, I will be the first to admit that children aren't for everyone. They are generally more perceptive than the adults around them, and they are so willful and adventurous that they seem like they are from a different species. There are quite a few parents who can't handle these sociopathic bundles of energy, or people who are so beat down by the pressure that they no longer care about common sense and shared societal values. These people will either learn about mores and such, or they won't and their children will be just as thoughtless and selfish as the group I am going to describe. Trust me; I have had dinners ruined by parents who let their four year old run wild during my appetizer, and shopping experiences ruined by someone who wouldn't remove their tantruming child. That being said, there are some who are worse.

Back to the "man" in the toy section of the big box store… I like toys. I always have. They are just fun. Maybe it's because I spent time in a classroom, maybe it is because I have younger siblings, or maybe it is because most of these items have "Appropriate for Ages Three and Up" printed on them, but I have always felt that the toy store and the toy section of stores was there for children. Call me crazy, but you don't see the marketing of these items during "ER". Complaining about children, especially well behaved yet excited children, in a toy section shows a detachment from reality that is astounding.

Everyone says that someone they know shouldn't breed, ever. We all do it, knowing that it is cruel but expressing a little bit of snarkiness that shows that we know. Here is something that I have discovered, and this is as the parent of a smart and strong willed three year old: Most people who identify themselves as militantly child free are doing society a favor by not breeding. Think about it. Think about the vitriol put forth by the person who you think best identifies "child free" and then think about them taking care of a puppy. Scary, isn't it? Does the thought of it make you feel like calling the SPCA?

Part of it, I have observed, comes from the priorities people place on things. Those who are angrily child free are often the people who are obsessive about the legitimacy of some form of pop culture, while at the same time being horribly relativistic about a personal morality. Their view is one of societal nihilism. They have nothing (yet) invested in society and therefore could give a fuck about the continuation of the society that allows for their decadence. Since they are unable, or unwilling, to identify with society, they adopt a culture of the arcane in order find legitimacy and shared values. (Then they hang out at coffee bars in faux vintage t-shirts reading Derrida…and fiction for young adults…, but that is another story.)

They use words like "crotch spawn" to describe children. They take a dismissive attitude towards people who choose to breed, and display hostility to those who would choose to bring their children out in public. Parents are objects of scorn and derision as well. Yet, they know that they could do it better, because they do such a great job with their rodent or their cat (People who own dogs and are child free are in a little different space as dogs and children are remarkably similar in a number of ways). They expect children to be quiet, and to not require any interaction, or any infrastructure. The Child Free mock the specialized diets of children while complaining that there isn't gluten free pizza with soy cheese on the menu at Unos.

They are wonderfully petty and small minded, and they conveniently forget that they (most of them within the last twenty years) were children too.

Was this offensive? Am I generalizing? Well, to that, I have to give this answer, which is the response I often get when I challenge this behavior. "Well, I wasn't talking about YOU."