19 different ways to say this is mediocre...

I posted this as a comment to another blogger's lament that there are limited ways to say that something is mediocre.

1) Your writing indicates that you could be the next Mayor of Wasilla.
2) I find your prose to akin to that of Stephanie Meyer.
3) Cribbing style and fact checking from Dan Brown is unacceptable.
4) More work like this and you will be an Operating Thetan.
5) Your skill set indicates that you will be perfect on the next Bret Michaels reality programming.
6) May I suggest further study with an ESL teacher?
7) This is considerably better than that Miley Cyrus song.
8) While I appreciate your effort, you would have been better of using your time to practice the question. "Would you like fries with that?"
9) For the next paper, drink beer after writing it, not while writing it.
10) I am sure that you will be able to find a career in the food service industry.
11) While practicing your breathing, remember to inhale.
12) You are a product of schools that were shut down by NCLB, aren't you?
13) Have you considered psychology as a field of study?
14) This sentence reminded me of that Bush-isms calender that I had.
15) My cat produces more productive hairballs.
16) At least the words you bothered to spell check are correct.
17) Your writing makes me happy in my choice to be child-free.
18) While anger may be a gift, the Creator gave you vapidness.
19) Have you thought about starting a blog?