Interesting in a navel gazing sort of way.

I have something that I am supposed to be doing...but...

I feel this compelling need to write something...to say some of the things that have been resting heavily upon my chest for a long time: choices that I have made or failed to have made (therefore choosing not to choose) and coming to terms with mistakes I have made.

But...I just can't.

I can'r commit the words, because words have power, and every time I have ever opened myself up to something like real emotions and self reflection, I end up feeling not the catharsis that should come, but more doubt, more self recrimination, and I just don't want to do that to myself right now.

But...

I can no longer work....so...there is that too...