A Good Walk Spoiled

(With apologies to John Feinstein)

TEA and I had planned on going on a long walk this morning.

As many of you know, TEA and I routinely go for long walks, and as we are going on them we talk of all manner of things and I find myself discovering that he is much more wonderful than I previously believed.

So, TEA and I both dressed and were ready to go when my nephew asked if he could come. Not having a diplomatic way of saying, "No, thank you," our duo became a trio...a twist on the Yoko Factor, I suppose.

About half way into the walk, as TEA and I hit our stride, the nephew (TN from here out) started complaining about how tired he was and that I was committing "child abusing" to which TEA responded quickly with, "Walking for fun is not abuse, TN." About 100 meters from the jetty (which was out destination), TN decided that he had enough, so I told him to sit above the tide line and TEA and I were going to finish.

In short time, TEA and I made it to the jetty and walked back to TN. TEA was filled with confidence for being able to do something better than TN and if walking was the difference, hey, who am I to fight it? (FTR, I was not setting up TN to fail, he invited himself along, I figured he knew the risks...even at seven) so TEA and I walk at a good but not to brisk pace, trying to beat the tide back to the house, and TN starts saying that his hip hurts and starts crying. I did some battlefield triage and determined that he was actually in pain and tried to figure out what to do...I tried carrying him, which I could not do because he is a solid little dude...and then I tried motivational speaking, which worked just as well as carrying him did.

In those four minutes, TEA went from happy and confident to thinking that I did not love him because I was paying attention to TN. Sobbing, he tells me that it is disrespectful for myself and his mother to show other people love when he is there.

I almost lost it. Almost.

What I did won't win me any father of the year awards, but I doubt that I deserve them anyway, but...I had one crying child who was physically in pain, and one sobbing child who was emotionally in pain...and a mile to finish walking....

So...we marched...

It was a combination (to the boys) of Bataan and the Children's Crusade but I got them walking through a combination of cajoling and dismissive behavior. I tried the carrot with one and ended up having the other hate me so...use the stick (metaphorically) on both of them.

We made it home, with TN's mother (my sister) meeting us up, and it turned out that TN's hip wasn't bothering him so much as he had an awful case of sand rash. TEA was still sobbing when we got home and I sent him in to lay down before talking to him about how his mother and I love him more than our own lives, and that he is the most important person in the world to me (which I can say is true for me and I assume it for my ex, even though some species do eat their young) and that it is unfair and manipulative for him to become so upset when I was trying to comfort his cousin. Yeah, probably not winning father of the year for that either, but...his reaction was irrational and I would do anything for him (up to including allowing him to keep that ridiculous haircut) and do it happily...

We talked again afterwards, and TEA was still sad and still upset with me but it was because...I didn't pick him up. I explained (again) that TN was hurting and...wait for it...I picked him up and carried him last night, so it is not as if I never carrying him any longer.

Anyway, that has been my morning, and I am so looking forward to returning home, to my life, and to my urban family.