It was the best of times, it was the end of time

Hah! You were wrong! All of you who thought that the world would end in 2012 are wrong. All of you who ordered your food insurance from Glenn Beck but haven't had it delivered yet are screwed. All of you quirky limo drivers who were going to be driving for those oligarchs are going to die.

I am sure that you have seen the stories.

First, thousands of birds fell from the sky in Arkansas.

Then, twenty miles of dead fish clogged the Arkansas River.

What does this mean?

It is the End Times(oh, check the site out. It is glorious.), and you know it.

Next is either the plague of boils (if we are following an Old Testament trajectory) or the Plague of Boehner in which Americans start looking more like Oompah Loompahs.

So, while you still can, make peace with your loved ones, familiarize yourself with the Left Behind books (face it, the Rapture is going to leave you here with me if you are reading this, and choose which side you want to be on: cannibalistic marauder or Wez's Golden Boy)(are you Rapture Ready?) and prepare for Hell on Earth.

Just so you are aware, and...I will have a Maker's rocks waiting for you when we run into the Pit.

(Yes, thank you for that message. I realize that Australia is suffering from flooding of Biblical proportions and I was not making light of that situation nor was I making light of the earthquake in Chile.)