Prepare for the "Frankenstorm"

YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!

When the National Weather Service is calling it a Frankenstorm, you know that you are going to die. (Especially if you are a cute little girl with a flower.)

IT SHOULD SETTLE BACK TOWARD THE INTERIOR NORTHEAST THROUGH HALLOWEEN, INVITING PERHAPS A GHOULISH NICKNAME FOR THE CYCLONE ALONG THE LINES OF "FRANKENSTORM", AN ALLUSION TO MARY SHELLEY'S GOTHIC CREATURE OF SYNTHESIZED ELEMENTS.

From MSNBC: Sandy has hit Cuba, and it is only getting stronger!

From NY Mag: It is time to start freaking out about Snowicane Sandy!

That's right: It's worse than a storm known to history as the Perfect Storm. Because it's not just a storm, it's a snowicane. A Perfect Snowicane, Hurricarnage, or whatever portmanteau we collectively settle on eventually. And just when you didn't think it could get any crazier: It is likely to hit during a full moon ... Werewolves! Snowicanewolves, dropping from the clouds like hail! ... when tides are near their highest, increasing coastal flooding potential, NOAA forecasts warn. Oh, right ... still pretty bad, though.

From Gawker: East Coast Braces for First Storm Freakout of the Season: A Halloween Snowstorm Hurricane Apocalypse

Because it would be a combination snowstorm + hurricane, the proper name for this storm is "snowcane," but, as there is no time to learn new words in the midst of a crisis, you should refer to it as a "snowcone."

From All Over Albany: This is Sandy

In other words: right now, it's looking like there could be heavy rain Monday into Wednesday, with strong wind. And depending how temperatures go, that rain could turn into snow.

They are always so calm over at AOA, aren't they?

I am saying prepare for the worst. Total breakdown of society!