Saving Paris Hilton

I was so excited when I saw the trailer of Battle: Los Angeles.

FAU was as well.

So...we saw it.

Can I tell you how awesome(ly bad) this film was?

(Mild Spoilers Ahead)

For those who like movies, it was a combination of Sands of Iwo Jima and ID4.

Every cliche save one (where the soon to retire Marine SSG has an ex-wife whom he still loves but his dedication to the Corp precludes his love for another human) was in place. The young (and green) Lieutenant with a young and very pregnant wife. The 17 year old new to the platoon whose mom signed the paper work. They young LC who is about to get married. The Corporal living up to his (dead) brother's memory. The geeky Air Force Technical Sargent who proves her worth and provides the technical details to help overthrow the alien menace. Oh, and the LC from Newark knows how to hotwire cars, buses, and if given the chance, probably one of the alien drones. There is one more classic one, but it would give away a scene that you should all relish and enjoy.

But Aaron Eckhart (who I like as an actor) is all the John Wayne-ie warfare cliches as SSG Michael Nantz. Every one. (Save the aforementioned ex-wife.)

And it is awesome.

Going into a film like this, you cannot expect brilliance and one of the reasons that FAU was so thrilled by this is that when you are given $75 million and decide to make the best B Movie that they can.

They owned it.

They piled on the cliches and awful dialog so powerfully when they stayed their hand for about ten minutes of the film, I turned to FAU and said, "I just want this to be over."

An example of the bad dialog:

(Over the body of a still functioning alien)
Civilian Woman: Maybe I can help.
Nantz: Are you a doctor?
CW: I am a veterinarian.

That is why Hollywood is where the magic happens, folks.

I suggest that every see this film on the big screen, and for those with a propensity for seasickness, the handheld shots are long and often.